1) What are the requirements to be married in the Catholic Church?

2) Why do we have to undertake a  Marriage Preparation class?

3) What does Marriage Preparation consist in?

4) Is it valid to do our Marriage Preparation Online?

5) Isn't an online program too impersonal?

6) How does the online class work?

7) How much does it cost?

8) What if one of us is not Catholic?

9)  What if one of us (or both) has been married before?

10) What is an annulment?

11) What is the role of marriage and family catechesis in building a culture of life?

12) What are the benefits of Natural Family Planning in marriage and family life.

13) What do the different symbols of the wedding ceremony signify?

1) What are the requirements to be married in the Catholic Church?
The first step is to contact your local parish priest or deacon.
Usually the preparation is done in the diocese where the couple lives. The local parish priest will constitute a file that he will send to the parish where the couple will be married.

The couple will need to provide their certificate of Baptism and fill different forms with the local priest (see example here).

”Catholics who have not yet received the sacrament of confirmation are to receive it before being admitted to marriage, if this can be done without grave inconvenience.” (Can. 1065 §1)

“Before a marriage takes place, it must be established that nothing stands in the way of its valid and lawful celebration”. (Can.1066)
The parties to a marriage covenant are a baptized man and woman, free to contract marriage, who freely express their consent.

To be free means:
- not being under constraint
- not impeded by any natural or ecclesiastical law. CCC 1625:

A. Emotional capacity.
Maturity (today we consider that a man is mature around 25/26, a woman around 19/21).

B. Psychological capacity.
Victims of incest, persons coming from alcoholic homes, drug addicts home, violent  and abusive home, signs of bulimia etc. Need therapy.
Can. 1095 "The following are incapable of contracting marriage:
- those who, because of causes of a psychological nature, are unable to assume the essential obligations of marriage."

C. Physical capacity.
Can. 1084 §1 "Antecedent and perpetual impotence to have sexual intercourse, whether on the part of the man or on that of the woman, whether absolute or relative, by its very nature invalidates marriage."

Marriage should be celebrated in the public liturgy of the Church.
Since marriage is a state of life in the Church, certainty about it is necessary : hence the obligation to have witnesses.

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2) Why do we have to undertake a  Marriage Preparation class?
”Pastors of souls are obliged to ensure that their own church community provides for Christ's faithful the assistance by which the married state is preserved in its Christian character and develops in perfection. This assistance is to be given principally: by personal preparation for entering marriage, so that the spouses are disposed to the holiness and the obligations of their new state”… (Can. 1063)

Marriage is a life-long commitment. We see too many broken families and the increasing rate of divorces to remain indifferent. You want your Marriage to last and to be strong. You want to commit in full knowledge of what marriage is all about, especially in the Catholic Church..

It takes years of studies for a priest to be ordained and fulfill his vocation. Marriage is also a vocation and also a life-long commitment. It needs to be prepared in order to last." So that the “I do” of the spouses may be a free and responsible act and so that the marriage covenant may have solid and lasting human and Christian foundations, preparation for marriage is of prime importance.” CCC 1632

“It is the desire of the Catholic Church to be present and accompany couples from the time they begin their marriage preparation and continuing throughout all the phases of life. In order for this to be possible, we see the necessity of preparing the bishops and all pastoral ministers: priests, religious and lay, to accompany these couples and these families. We must also call upon teams of professional laypersons to help us in this work.” Bishops of the Americas 18 February 2004

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3) What does Marriage Preparation consist in?
Marriage preparation must begin at least 8-12 months prior to a couple's anticipated wedding date. The very first step is to make an appointment with your priest. He will let you know what the requirements of your diocese are concerning marriage and will help you fill the necessary papers. You will need to give him a certificate of your Baptism.

Then you will be able to start preparing for the sacrament through a manageable series of meetings and educational workshops.

- Complete a marriage preparation inventory (usually a FOCUS test). This tool is designed to assess the strengths of your relationship and areas that may need growth. Depending on your parish, you may also meet with a married mentor couple to help you review the inventory.

- Participate in Natural Family Planning Classes. Check with the Office and Marriage and Family Life of your diocese to register.

- Attend specific Marriage Preparation classes as offered on this site.

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4) Is it valid to do our Marriage Preparation Online?
The Marriage Preparation we teach online is the fruit of 9 years of approved practice in the Archdiocese of Denver. It is even more complete than our live classes thanks to the possibility of linking you to so many important documents such as the Catechism of the Catholic Church, The Canon Law, excerpts of different books, etc.

Catholic Marriage Preparation, Inc. has been adopted by many dioceses around the U.S. and even around the world.

At the end of the classes, you will receive a Certificate issued by Catholic Marriage Preparation, Inc.

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5) Isn't an online program too impersonal?
In the contrary, this course is very personal and actually the couple will work one on one with their instructor.
 
After they register, each couple is attributed an instructor who follows them personally throughout the course, answering each of their worksheets and questions. Worksheets are not multiple choices. They are designed to provoke deep thought and challenge the couple to answer in depth.

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6) How does the online class work?
1- Fill the registration form and payment page.

2- Print the message on the confirmation screen: it contains all the instructions you need to start the course.

The same message will be automatically sent to the last email address you entered in your registration form. If you do not receive it, look for it in your junk box, it might have been considered a spam.

3- In your confirmation message you receive a username and password to access your personal profile. They Can be modified by editing your profile. You will need them to access worksheets.

4- Your Membership:
Valid for a maximum of three months from your registration date
or until your wedding date which ever occurs first.
If you complete the course before the end of your membership, we will terminate it one week after completion.
It can be extended upon request for serious reasons (military, deployed, health problems...)

5- Your Profile:
Accessible only to you and your instructor. It is a secured page. You can give access to it to your priest or deacon if you wish, by sharing with them your username and password.
Your answer keys and your certificate will be posted onto your profile.

6- Your Instructor:
You will work one on one with your instructor.
We assign instructors according to their workload after you register. You can ask all your questions to your instructor.

7- Completing the lessons:
Click here to see the course’s content.
There are NO live chat forums.
you can work at your own pace within the three months time-frame.
We recommend working one worksheet per week to have time to process and discuss the subjects.

After you register, in the confirmation message, you will find the link to your first worksheet.
You will work one worksheet at a time (seven worksheets total).
Your instructor will upload your personalized answer key containing the link to your next worksheet as a link directly onto your profile within a maximum of three business days.

If you live far apart, make sure you share and discuss your answers whether by e-mail or by phone before you submit one final combined answer back to us.

When the course is completed, after you fill the feedback form, we will upload your certificate of completion onto your profile as a PDF file (requires to have Adobe Reader), plus we will send you the hard-copy by mail.

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7) How much does it cost?
The price of a class is $150.00 per couple for the online program.
It is $180 per couple for the live classes.

If you have financial difficulties, please contact us by clicking here.

Terms and conditions:
Cancellation Policy: You may cancel your registration within five days of your enrollment. Refund will be available minus a $20 restocking fee.


Privacy Statement:
Catholic Marriage Preparation, Inc. respects your privacy.
We do not sell or rent your information to third parties.
We occasionally send out newsletters to our students.

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8) What if one of us is not Catholic?
If your fiancé(e) is not Catholic, you will need permission from your local Bishop (called a dispensation) to be able to get married in the Catholic Church. Your parish priest can help you with this formality.

Promises:
The Catholic spouse promises to do all in his/her power to have their children baptized and reared as Catholics.
The non-Catholic spouse must be informed of this promise but does not have to promise anything.
Both must be instructed in the teachings of the Catholic Church regarding marriage.

Where:
The Catholic Church expects a marriage to be celebrated in the local Catholic parish church of the Catholic party. However, permission can be given by the local bishop for a marriage to be celebrated in another church or place of worship.

How does a “mixed” marriage affect the ceremony?
A mixed marriage can take place within a Nuptial Mass only if the non-Catholic person has been baptized in a Christian Church. To the extent that Eucharistic sharing is not permitted to the non-Catholic guests by the general discipline of the Church, this is to be considered when plans are being made to have a mixed marriage at Mass or not.
Your non Catholic friends and relatives can take part in the ceremony by reading, praying, singing or participating in the offertory procession.

What about the ministers?
The ordinary minister at a mixed marriage is an authorized priest or deacon. A non-Catholic minister may attend the marriage ceremony and may also address, pray with, and bless the couple.
For appropriate pastoral reasons, a bishop can grant a dispensation from the Catholic form of marriage and can permit the marriage to take place in a non-Catholic church with a non-Catholic minister as the officiating minister. A priest may attend such a ceremony and may also address, pray with, and bless the couple.
It is not permitted however to have two religious services or to have  a single service in which both the Catholic marriage ritual and a non-Catholic marriage ritual are celebrated jointly or successively.

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9)  What if one of us (or both) has been married before?
If one or both parties have been married before, whether civilly or in a church, it must be proven that the marriage was not valid in the eyes of God to begin with and  they will need a Declaration of Nullity.
For all questions and in any doubt contact the Metropolitan Tribunal of your Diocese.

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10) What is a Declaration of Nullity?

It means that one of the elements that makes the marriage valid in the eyes of God was missing.

A declaration of nullity is an official legal process of the Catholic Church Court system (Tribunal), which states that parties to a formal marriage are no longer bond by that union in the eyes of the Church. This statement is based on Catholic Church law and Catholic theology of marriage.

Church law states that all marriages are presumed valid until the contrary is proven (Canon 1060). When a petitioner makes an allegation that his/her marriage is invalid, it must be proven. This is the purpose of the annulment process.

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11) What is the role of marriage and family catechesis in building a culture of life?
Short answer:
Marriage, as intended by God, it is where the spouses will nurture love and give life with the help of God.
The future of every society is deeply grounded in marriage and family life. Marriage and family catechesis help Catholic spouses to search deep in their understanding of this "Great mystery". Through catechesis, the couples and families learn to understand the loving  plan of God for them.  They understand better the value of the teachings of the Church concerning fertility and therefore can enforce these teachings in their own lives, towards their children, and through their testimony to all who are in relation with them, building little by little the culture of life.
Parents are the primary educators to transmit Faith and values to their children. (CCC 1655, 1656, 1657.)

Developed answer:
The family is the image of the Trinity and is rightly called the Domestic Church.
This is where the children will see and feel the presence of God, this is where they will receive their love and understanding of God, source of love and life, and the Church. It is within the family that children root their foundations and their values. This is where they must learn to treasure life and protect it.
"Parents convey attitudes and values about life and sexuality as they interact with one another and with their children each day. In fact, children learn primarily from this "modeling" by the parents." "Parents are indeed the first and most influential teachers of their children, whether they choose to be or not."( Love and Family, Mercedes Arzu Wilson.)
If the parents teach to their children how they respect and cherish life, showing them all the goods intended by God, the children will have a better chance to build up a strong love towards life. They will follow these patterns all their life and transmit them to their own children.
Parents are the models for their children but also for other couples and families, Catholic and non-Catholic.
Families will come to them because they reflect the image of God. A truly Catholic family questions many and attracts many.

Families are a light for the world and Marriage is the cornerstone of the society. In Zenith of April 4th 2004, it was reported that an official from the Vatican said: “Any nation that wishes a more human and just future for itself must reinforce the family as the "fundamental institution of humanity."
This is why couples and families need the support of the Church and need to be fed spiritually.

"The family, like the Church, ought to be a place where the Gospel is transmitted and from which the Gospel radiates. In a family which is conscious of this mission, all the members evangelize and are evangelized. The parents not only communicate the Gospel to their children, but from their children they can themselves receive the same Gospel as deeply lived by them. And such a family becomes the evangelizer of many families, and of the neighborhood of which it forms part." Familiaris Consortio, chapter 5, #52

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12) What are the benefits of Natural Family Planning in marriage and family life.
From reading Humanae Vitae, we understand that God has given to mankind natural laws. It is necessary for mankind to follow these natural laws for their eternal redemption. "For the natural law too, declares the will of God and its faithful observance is necessary for men's eternal salvation" (Humanae Vitae, ch. 4.)

" Artificial contraception often expresses a utilitarian approach to human sexuality that easily leads to dissociating its physical aspects from the full context of married love as commitment, mutual fidelity, responsibility and openness to the mystery of life. On the other hand, the way of living which follows from the exercise of periodic continence leads the couple to deepen their knowledge of each other and to achieve a harmony of body, mind and spirit which strengthens them and encourages them on their journey together through life. It is marked by a constant dialogue and enriched by the tenderness and affection which constitutes the heart of human sexuality." (John Paul II, address at the Rome Summit meeting on the Natural Regulation of Fertility, Dec 9-11, 1992.)

So NFP cannot be a method but is a way of life.
NFP helps us understand how our bodies function. It helps us follow the natural law and respect God's plan for mankind.
NFP teaches couples sexual self control and therefore other ways to show love to each other. NFP allows both husband and wife to be in charge together of their fertility. It brings them closer together. It truly helps in improving communication between husband and wife.
They accept each other totally, even in their fertility. Periodic abstinence deepens the love relationship and mutual respect. It is also an act of freedom as they master their sexuality and therefore sexual intercourse can truly be the renewal of their marriage covenant. They will learn to see each other as a person and not as a mean for their own pleasure.
NFP is natural, safe, cheap, effective, immediately reversible, easy to learn, can be used to achieve as well as to avoid pregnancy, is good for every couple whatever their origin, culture, religion, educational background and it will keep the couples conscience at peace.
NFP respects the plan of God and allows Him to take His due place in the marriage.
A couple practicing NFP is a lot more open to life and welcomes children more generously. They give in turn a morally consistent message to their children, teaching them to always welcome life as a wonderful gift from God.
Contraception leads to a culture of death when NFP allows true "procreation", creation with God.

For the inevitable question, what's the difference between contraception and NFP since the purpose is to avoid pregnancy: "the answer is that there is a big difference between abstaining ("not using" the gift of fertility) and attacking or suppressing this gift through contraceptives." (Love and Family, Mercedes Arzu Wilson.)
To sustain your family you can choose between robbing a bank and having a decent job, the goal is the same, the ways are different.

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13) What do the different symbols of the wedding ceremony signify?
The Wedding Dress:

The Wedding dress has not always been white. In the antiquity, Greek, Roman and Egyptian brides were dressed in white, symbol of virginity. White was also the color for the liturgical ceremonies. In the Middle Ages, the bride was wearing her most beautiful dress, vibrant red was mostly used. In the different regions of each country, the bride was wearing the traditional dress until very recently. It is only in the XIX century that we find  white dresses again. White is considered as the natural color of virginity. White also recalls the Baptism garment, symbolizing that the person has “put on Christ, has risen with Christ.

The Bouquet:

In the Eastern Byzantine tradition, the flowers were meant to call divine protection upon the Spouses. For the Romans, the crown of verbena was a symbol of fertility. Today the  bouquet, made of soft-colored flowers, round or in cascade, is an essential requisite for the Bride. It is not only decorative. Often the newlyweds bring the bouquet at the feet of Mary. In doing so, after the ceremony, the new spouses ask for Mary's tender protection upon their future family. This first gesture of the new spouses is greatly symbolic: as soon as they are married, the spouses look at Mary who was spouse and mother to entrust her their family and their fecundity.

The Wedding bands:

The Wedding band remind everyone that the person wearing it is married. That was already the meaning for the Romans. A Wedding ring in French is called a "covenant". Generally worn at the well named ring finger on the left hand, the ancients called it "the finger closest to the heart". They said there was a nerve linking directly this finger to the heart. The circular shape symbolizes the continuity, the indissolubility of the Marriage.

The Engagement ring:

Since antiquity, the gift of the engagement ring is included in the engagement's rite. In the Middle Ages, even the fiancé received a ring, the same ring as his fiancée’s. It showed everyone that a contract had been signed. In the XV century, the diamond became the favorite gem for the engagement ring to symbolize the princely engagements. The silver and goldsmiths engraved symbols of the Virgin Mary or letters of the alphabet or sentimental lines. These symbols often enhanced the permanency of the union of the spouses. (Magnificat, EDIFA 1999.)

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